Saturday, December 12, 2009
Psychiatry
My second psychiatrist's appointment confirmed what I thought after the first: I don't like this shrink. I thought perhaps I was misremembering, or had been uncomfortable for some other reason and just blamed it on him. But for the second visit in a row I got the distinct impression that he's trying to catch me at something. He asks me questions that don't seem to have anything to do with my mental health, and takes notes at inexplicable intervals. "Do you typically get your oil changed on time? Mhmm. And how many miles till your next oil change? Uh-huh," (nods, jots down note). I can't figure out what he's getting at. I get defensive, only I'm careful to hide it, lest he think he's hit on something. I'm living a scene from a poorly written comedy.
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I've heard that 'Oil Change Interval Test' is the new Rorschach. If you say, "Every 3000 miles, like the manual says," that means you need an authoritative voice in your life.
ReplyDeleteOr: "Every 2000 miles," it means you're paranoid and think the world is out to get you.
Or: "The day after the black smoke starts billowing out," means you have power issues, and secretly wish to dominate your car.
If you ask, "The oil is supposed to be changed?" then you're just fucked. It's a foolproof system.