An Exercise

I figure I just have to write something or I'll keep not writing instead. I started and nearly finished a post about being in New York, but decided it was either too obvious or too cynical, so I let it go. There are other things that I wish I had let go, but didn't. I'm not even saying I should have dropped them. Only that the outcome isn't what I wanted.

I was happy to see friends in New York, but in general it was a lonely trip, and quite unhappy at times. I think I'm at a point where I have to ride things out and wait to come to some understanding or peace of mind. It's not the easiest thing for a person like me, but there's not much I can do about it. And besides, it's probably a good lesson.

On a positive note, I finally feel ready for a schedule. I'm trying to ease myself into it through the rest of this week and stick to it properly starting Monday. I'll have specific times for yoga, meditation, quilting, random other projects, babysitting, and doing some laundry and cooking for Tim and Kaylan. I just want to be sure that I don't create something arbitrary, and miss whatever productive conclusion I might draw from the confusion and groundlessness that has marked recent months. Because there's got to be something good there, right? Some lesson about no-self or emptiness or something? It feels like there must be. I've got my eyes peeled.